JONI AND FERGUS, conclusion

WILLIAM: Well, thanks for telling me, guys, Really, it's quite a relief knowing you guys have been in good hands. When I wake up and get out of the hospital, I'll make sure to tell Joni what you said.

FERGUS: Umm, no you won't.

WILLIAM: Huh? Why not?

FERGUS: Because you're not going to remember any of this.

Fergus begins waving a forepaw hypnotically back and forth.

FERGUS: Forget . . . forget . . . forget . . .

The screen turns completely white. We then hear a sudden babble of voices, WILLIAM, FERGUS, XENA, JONI, all talking at once. Finally . . .

JONI: (voice-over) Hey! I'm the major protagonist here! I get the final voice-over!

A solo sax plays on the soundtrack.

JONI: (voice-over) So that's the story. William's operation went fine.

CUT TO: WILLIAM back in his hotel room, hugging his cats.

JONI: (voice-over) Fergus got his insulin shots and he turned out fine.

CUT TO: CLOSE-UP of FERGUS devouring his dinner. He looks up at us for a brief moment, then returns to eating.

JONI: As for me . . . well . . .

CUT TO: Outside the hotel, night time.

JONI: I guess I had to feel good about it all. Yeah, I got beat up a bit but I learned a few things.

We see JONI exit the hotel and stand on the sidewalk, looking up at the night sky.

JONI: (voice-over) It's funny. You sit with a thousand cats and each time it's different. Each cat is a sphinx with its own essence, its own riddle. Yeah, I love the little sacks of fur. I love their mystery. I know I'll never get to the bottom of that mystery. I only know I have to keep trying..

The camera pans across the night lights of Rochester and up to the stars. For a moment we see FERGUS'S face superimposed on the Milky Way. His expression is one of bored detachment.

FADE OUT

Souvenir from a Trip

by

Patrick Davitt

Some people go on vacation and bring back t-shirts and other assorted gee gaws and others bring back ….  This kitten is our souvenir of a recent vacation in South Florida.  She was rescued from beneath some shrubs at the corner of 11^th Street and Ocean Boulevard, right in the heart of South Miami Beach.  I named her Ocean-Eleven (after the intersection not the movie!) but that soon changed to Elle.  She weighed in at 1.02 pounds!  After keeping her overnight in the hotel, there was no turning back and, with an $80 ticket, she flew back to Minnesota in style.

She is now, of course, in charge of the entire household, including two people, two dogs and nine other cats.  I am convinced that tuxedos are the feline equivalent of Border Collies! 

One of these days, I’ll write a more complete story …

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