JONI: Hello, I'm Joni …
CUT TO: FERGUS THE CAT'S POINT OF VIEW - from the hotel bed upon which he is lounging. We see William opening the door and inviting Joni in.
FERGUS: (voice-over) ... Joni the Cat Sitter. Ah yes, I remember well the day we met. I was reposing on the bed, just minding my own cat business when Joni walks in and starts jawing with William, you know, he's the guy I hang with. Okay, I knew this much - William had to go away for five or six days for something called an "operation" - maybe he's a CIA guy but I doubt it - anyway, someone would have to visit me twice daily so as to give me my insulin shots. Okay, so I'm diabetic. I know it's hard to believe but no cat is perfect. So sue me. Anyway - William seemed to approve of this Joni but I had my own way of testing her mettle ...
From Fergus' POINT OF VIEW we see Joni approaching, her hand held out to pet him.
FERGUS: (voice-over) I figured my first tact would be - go under the bed!
From Fergus' POV, we see ourselves scampering across the bed, then under it where we then encounter Xena, William's other cat. Xena is a smaller, female Maine Coon.
XENA: What's going on?
FERGUS: Visitor. Could be trouble. Stay close to me.
XENA: But when I get close to you, you always cuff me.
FERGUS: Right. Better stay where you are.
From Fergus' POV we see Joni’s face as she peers under the bed.
JONI: Well, hello there, Fergus, you great big beautiful orange Maine Coon.
FERGUS: (voice-over) Okay, I admit that Joni wasn't without her charms. I had to remind myself that I was a cat and that I had a reputation to uphold, not just mine but that of cats everywhere, from sea to shining sea, of all the cats down through the dusty pages of history and of generations of cats yet unborn. In other words, I had to play hard to get. Oh yes, I wasn't about to roll over and fire up the purr engine for some sweet-talkin' dame ...
FADE OUT
FADE IN
From William’s POINT OF VIEW we see a circle of faces looking down at him - the masked faces of doctors and nurses. WILLIAM is in the hospital and it is operation time.
WILLIAM: (voice-over) So there I was in the hospital, ready for the surgeons to extract my left kidney, and of course, I'm thinking about my cats, thinking about just how Joni, who seemed to me to be an ideal cat sitter, would fare with Fergus. Ha! Fergus with his eternal "I'm gonna play hard to get" routine. Oh well, too late to worry about that now.
From William’s POV, we see a doctor reach down and place an anesthesia mask over his face. The screen goes black.
WILLIAM: … but of course, being a cat guy, I still worried.
FADE IN: William’s hotel room.
[The following scenes appear in MONTAGE, in the style of a 1920's silent film, the action speeded up, frantic player-piano music on the soundtrack.]
We see Joni, syringe in hand, approaching Fergus who then leaps off the bed and darts away.
CUT TO: Joni chasing Fergus.
CUT TO: Fergus sitting on top of the dresser and regarding Joni with an expression of bored detachment.
CUT TO: Joni chasing Fergus.
CUT TO: Fergus, syringe in teeth, chasing Joni.
CUT TO: An exhausted Joni and Fergus wearily regarding one another from opposite sides of the room.
CUT TO: Joni chasing Fergus down a long, narrow length of hotel hallway.